Military women of faith

By Sharmane Adams |  The Catholic Compass  |  March/April 2022

Within the Diocese of Pensacola-Tallahassee there are six major military installations: Naval Air Station Pensacola, Naval Air Station Whiting Field, Hurlburt Field, Eglin Air Force Base, Naval Support Activity Panama City and Tyndall Air Force Base. More than 56,000 military and civilian personnel, including more than 130,000 former military-trained personnel who reside in the region, currently serve the six military bases. The area’s military influence is not only apparent in the highly skilled and dedicated workforce but also in the communities in which military families raise their children and contribute their time volunteering for charitable causes. 

Here, three dynamic Catholic women share their backgrounds and insights on faith and family in the military.

Retired Army Maj. Kathy Kuklish
Tell me about yourself and your experience serving in the Army.
After earning my college degree in 1975, I enlisted in the Women’s Army Corps. My first duty station was in Frankfurt, Germany, where I met and fell in love with Tom. We were married when my enlistment ended and moved to Fort Bragg, North Carolina, where I enrolled in the Reserve Officer Training Corps and received my commission in May 1982. I served four years with the Special Forces Training Battalion, earned my airborne wings and completed company command. I went on to assignments with the 1st Armored Division in Ans-bach, Germany; the 101st Airborne Division in Fort Campbell, Kentucky; and the Army Intelligence and Security Command, Fort Belvoir, Virginia, where I served as a resource manager and personnel liaison with the National Security Agency. In 1997, I reported to the Army Staff for a joint service assignment to design a military-wide pay and personnel system. Through it all, Tom and I were blessed to be together most of the time, but we took turns giving precedence to each other’s career and cheerfully declined assignments that would have separated us. When we received orders in 1998 for Tom to report to Bosnia while I was slated for Korea, we knew it was time to retire and focus on raising our three children, who were then nine, eight and six.

Were you deployed? 
I did not deploy during Desert Shield/Desert Storm but was designated to remain in the rear. It was tough to be left behind, but as part of the Rear Detachment Command, I coordinated pre-deployment preparations and personnel replacement operations for approximately 12,000 soldiers to forward combat areas.

Did you ever have fears or doubts while serving in the Army? How did you lean on your faith?
When I enlisted, I spent two years without God – discouraged, depressed and doubting my faith and Army career. That’s when God sent Tom to rekindle and share my faith and to join me on this journey back to God. At airborne school and on each subsequent jump, it was faith that propelled me out of the plane and brought me safely to the ground 13 times; it was faith that assured me that Tom would safely land the 80 times he conducted and participated in airborne operations as a jumpmaster. As a female soldier, I sometimes felt close to being overwhelmed by the men who tried to make it clear that I didn’t belong – except that I knew God was with me, and my husband’s love surrounded me. When we received conflicting assignments, our faith allowed us to pray for discernment to go where God wanted us. Desert Shield/Desert Storm was challenging, but our faith helped us carry out our missions on opposite sides of the world. In the Army, each new set of orders meant starting all over again – new bosses, new jobs, new homes, new schools, new faith communities. But we always knew God was with us. 

Share with me your involvement in your church.
St. John the Evangelist Church is my childhood parish, where I was baptized and grew up; and I graduated from St. John School and Pensacola Catholic High School. I returned after almost 30 years to find myself surrounded by remarkable women formed by faith, selfless service and discipline – those who have worn the cloth of our na-tion: the nurse, the air traffic controller and more, and my classmates who dedicated their careers to federal service as safety officers, personnel managers and lab technicians. They are women whose faith balances sacrifice and duty – the military spouses, the mothers of sons and daughters who have joined the military, and the military widows who live their faith and challenge us to live ours more fully. Compared to them, Tom and I have made small contributions teaching the faith formation first penance and first Communion classes for five years and serving as eucharistic ministers for ten years. We try to build a foundation of faith for these children that they can use as they encounter the challenges of life.

Is there anything else you would like to add that would be interesting for our readers to learn about you?
Serving in the Army, taking care of soldiers and their families, was a great privilege, and sharing faith with my sisters in arms has been an honor. I’m a charter member of the Women in Military Service Memorial, and while I’m proud of the progress we’ve made as women serving our nation, I know we still have far to go. Finally, as an Army veteran in a Navy town, I know that at the end of the Army-Navy game, regardless of the outcome, we’re all on the same side!

Valerie Matheny, military wife of an active Navy pilot
Tell me about yourself.
I am a proud Pensacola native and have been married almost four years to my wonderful husband, Tanner.   I teach fifth grade at my alma mater, St. John the Evangelist. I am also the cantor at my parish, Holy Spirit Catholic Church. 

How did you meet your husband?
Growing up in a military town where I have seen so many people fall in love and be swept away to different states and countries, I always pledged never to let that happen to me. Nonetheless, God had other plans. My husband and I met through a mutual friend while he was in flight school in Pensacola. He won me over with his Frank Sinatra karaoke skills and delicious cooking, as well as his huge ambition and passion for aviation.

At what stage in your husband’s career did you become a military wife? Was it a difficult transition for you? 
Tanner was training at VAQ-129 as an Electronic Warfare Officer when we got married. The most difficult part of the transition was moving away from my family. We moved to Whidbey Island, Washington. It was a culture shock, we were freezing, and I went through very long periods without family. But I also learned very quickly that I would have a new family among the other military spouses, my work family and new friends.

Where has your husband been actively deployed? 
We have only had to deploy once. My husband and the VAQ-134 Garudas were deployed to the Middle East for ten months. We were originally told that they would be gone for six to eight months. They left three months early, and we only had ten days notice to get them prepped and ready. That had to be one of the toughest times in our relationship, especially because the squadron got delayed three times in coming home – one of them being right after new years and the other two due to COVID. 

How did you lean on your faith during that time? 
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thanked God for FaceTime. There were only a handful of times when we didn’t talk for almost 48 hours, and I would get nervous and sleep was hard. My mom always taught me to pray when I couldn’t sleep. That mantra got me through so many tough nights during deployment. Our families were both so supportive, and we truly would not have made it through without them. Working at a Christian school was also uplifting. I felt such strong support from my coworkers. God was so present through them: they would pray over me at staff meetings, constantly check in with me, cook for me and give me some of the most life-giving hugs that always came right when I needed them most. 

How has your Catholic faith been instrumental throughout your marriage? What has been the most challenging for you as a military wife?
To be quite honest, it was hard to focus on our faith in Whidbey Island. We never really found a church that was like home to us. We struggled to understand the priest who had a thick accent. The Mass would often be in a different language. However, teaching at a Christian school did help keep me active in the faith for sure. This might be terrible to say, but we were glad when we had to watch Mass online due to COVID because this meant we got to watch Holy Spirit’s Mass, our parish in Pensacola. 

The most challenging thing for me as a military wife has to be the unknown. It’s hard for me when someone asks, “How long are you here for?” or things in general that I can’t answer due to being in a military family. I’d like to tell my best friends that our future children will grow up together, or tell my niece that I’ll still be living here for her graduation, or think about a place to retire, but that is just not in the cards for people in the military. You can have goals, abso-lutely, but if you make plans, they better be flexible.  

Retired Navy Capt. Susanne McNinch
Please tell me about yourself and your experience serving in the Navy.
I received my commission in the Navy through the ROTC program at the University of Florida. Throughout my 27 years, I served in a variety of locations and commands, including Moffett Field, California; Diego Garcia; Atsugi, Japan; New Orleans, Louisiana; Pensacola, Florida; Newport, Rhode Island; Boston, Massachusetts; Great Lakes, Illinois; Garden City, New York; and Millington, Tennessee. I started my career as a General Unrestricted Line Officer, became a Fleet Support Officer and ended my career as a Human Resources Officer. 

I understand you are still active in some capacity with the Navy. Can you explain?
Yes, I have the privilege of teaching Navy Military Manpower and Leadership classes several times a year to students enrolled in the Navy’s International Training program. It is a great opportunity to share our Navy’s best practices and a few sea stories with our international partners. 

Why did you join the Navy?
My father is a 22-year veteran of the U.S. Air Force,  so the desire to be in the military and serve is something that I always wanted to do. I loved being a military “brat,” traveling around the world, learning new cultures and meeting incredible people. 

I understand your husband was a stay-at-home dad. How did you both make this decision? Was this decision difficult for you? 
It was a very easy decision for us because we both believed strongly in one parent staying home to raise our children. When we had our first child, my career was on the rise, so it made sense for my husband, Bob, to stay at home. I have to admit that I was jealous at times because Bob was around for all of the “moments.” I also felt guilty, which is not uncommon for most working parents. Despite those feelings, I knew in my heart and mind that we had made the right decision. 

How did you balance your faith, service, motherhood and being a wife?
It was not always easy, but it was something that I worked hard to achieve. I wanted my children to know that success is not defined by how much money you have but rather how rich you are – rich in love, rich in faith, rich in commitment and rich in service to others. I always endeavored to set the best example possible for my husband, children and shipmates. 

I understand you held command three different times. Can you explain your philosophy while you served in this position?
My command philosophy is family, work and life. In order to be successful in all three areas, you must have balance. Family means not only your immediate family but also your Navy family. And what do families do? They take care of one another, and that is what we will always do: take care of each other. Work means mission accomplishment and getting the job done. Life requires you to be strong mentally, physically and spiritually. If you lack in any of these areas, you are no good to yourself or others. There are some days in which your life will take 100 percent of your time, and there are other days in which work or family will take 100 percent of your time. But in the end, a balance between these three is what it takes to be successful. 

Share with me your involvement in your church and community.
I am a parishioner at St. John the Evangelist Catholic Church in Pensacola and serve in various ministries, including the parish council, Faith Formation (fifth and sixth grade catechist), adult education, and lector and extraordinary minister. I am also a board member for Majella House, a startup maternity home in the Pensacola area for homeless pregnant mothers.

Is there anything else you would like to add that would be interesting for our readers to learn about you?
In my short time living in Pensacola, I am blessed to be in the company of many superb military women of faith in our diocese. Most are too humble to want their name mentioned, but I want to highlight two who have given so much to their country and community: Mary Corboy and Linda Robison. Both are Navy veterans, selfless servants and deserving of mention and recognition.